Pornography is defined as: of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire. Bore-ography is hereby defined as: of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sequels, to use 3-D, sell video games and numb people into buying theater prepared meals.
If religion is the opiate of the masses, bore-orgraphy is methanol and 3-D is freebasing. Stereoscopic, color vision craves eye candy. The part of your brain that processes color vision is, in evolutionary terms, the youngest part of your cerebral cortex… It behaves like a four-year-old. Shown something interesting... it goes all mushy and can't look away. If you have to watch it through special glasses in order to understand why it is interesting… It is not interesting. It is not interesting at all.
Keep in mind if Sex and the City 2 was filmed both topless and in 3-D, it would be both pornography and bore-ographic. Speaking of embarrassing complete wastes of time… Look at what might be lingering or lurking in theaters throughout the year.
Steven Spielberg is in need of an intervention. He combined the mystery of Capricorn One with the aliens landed on the moon drama of 2001 a Space Odyssey... but to make it work for youngsters, he added a denominator of the Transformers. One would hope paying starlets to go away, cocaine, heroin and/or trips to the Hair Club for Men would not have exhausted the vast fortune Mr. Spielberg has created for himself.
Yet for no creative reason he has pimped himself beyond recognition; not once, but twice…
In the words of TV infomercials… Don't answer yet, if you order now…
What happens when you wed Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots with a PS3? You develop a wonderful movie called Real Steel. Imagine the plot twists when boxing, because of the cost to humanity, has been replaced by giant, scary, corporate financed robots. Now stretch your imagination and see if you can fathom a youngster, fighting the system, against all odds, as an outcast, fighting the system even harder than was previously fighting it, going for broke in a one against 1 billion chance to break into the world of high-stakes fighting robots? I just wonder what will happen? Oh And by the way, it is in 3-D!
The redeeming value in the trailers... all the fellow patrons were laughing and ashamed for a director the caliber of Mr. Spielberg as he stooped to something, so made for "direct to video release."
Happy New Year!
Just because Mr. Spielberg has decided to mail it in for 2011, don't follow his lead. Now is the time for each and every one of us to create and improvise our way out of this economic malaise. Feel and respond to the challenge of restoring the values and principles that made this country what it is and what it can be.
It is too easy to accept crap as art. It is too easy to coast by on exceptional talent and produce something unworthy of fourth grade film club. Use the power of the internet to rally the people you know to greatness, beauty and things of interest.
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