What do you do if Egypt lets him go?
There's got to be away, that he can save the day,
we can't let over $45 billion getaway.
- extracted from “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria”
If they give you lemons, make lemonade.
If for some reason a neo-socialistic dictator needs a new home, there's always South America or Africa… But these days, why not think about the United States of America.
Mubarak has an estimated net worth of over $45 billion. He has executive experience, can run the government on less money than he receives and a dynamic speaking voice. In short he's exactly what we need to help several of the States regain fiscal integrity.
He believes in nepotism, so California would accept him. He isn't scared to rig elections, so he'd fit right in with Washingtonians. He refuses to answer questions about his girlfriends, so it's a natural in Oregon. Idaho is, more or less, shaped like pyramid. Utah would love to get back to their roots of polygamy. Arizona is a desert.
With his personal fortune he could take over all of the states west of Nebraska. The border problem, no problem for Mubarak! He was able to keep the people from Gaza, in Gaza.
By introducing his own brand of multiculturalism, there could be a series of exciting new Sphinx like exhibits all across the western states. If we limited construction techniques to Moses era implements, jobs aplenty.
Coming from the Middle East, M (the friendly way to say Mubarak) likely is very jealous of the countries that have oil. Within three months, Mubarakstan could join OPEC. To make sure Kansas and Iowa were cowed, he couild also develop peaceful nuclear reactors like North Korea and Iran.
Plus being a socialist, no one would ever criticize him. Those that did, would be offered a chance to apologize… In order to keep their families from being tortured before they were killed.
You got to break some eggs, if you want to make an omelette.
Bottom line, we have a once-in-a-lifetime, multicultural dictator, looking for a job. We have an entire region of our country looking for cash. Obviously, Austrians can't do it. Maybe it's time we tried to Walk Like an Egyptian.
If you were Mubarak, which states would you buy first?
| FY12 Projected Shortfall | Shortfall as Percent of FY11 Budget | |
| Arizona | $974 million | 11.5% |
| California* | $25.4 billion | 29.3% |
| Colorado | $988 million | 13.8% |
| Connecticut | $3.7 billion | 20.8% |
| District of Columbia | DK | na |
| Florida | $3.6 billion | 14.9% |
| Georgia | $1.7 billion | 10.3% |
| Hawaii | $410 million | 8.2% |
| Idaho | $300 million | 12.6% |
| Illinois | $15.0 billion | 44.9% |
| Indiana | $270 million | 2.0% |
| Iowa | $294 million | 5.6% |
| Kansas | $492 million | 8.8% |
| Kentucky* | $780 million | 9.1% |
| Louisiana | $1.7 billion | 22.0% |
| Maine | $436 million | 16.1% |
| Maryland | $1.6 billion | 12.2% |
| Massachusetts | $1.8 billion | 5.7% |
| Michigan | $1.8 billion | 8.6% |
| Minnesota | $3.9 billion | 24.5% |
| Mississippi | $634 million | 14.1% |
| Missouri | $1.1 billion | 14.4% |
| Montana | $80 million | 4.3% |
| Nebraska | $314 million | 9.2% |
| Nevada | $1.5 billion | 45.2% |
| New Hampshire | DK | na |
| New Jersey | $10.5 billion | 37.4% |
| New Mexico | $410 million | 7.6% |
| New York | $9.0 billion | 16.9% |
| North Carolina | $3.8 billion | 20.0% |
| Ohio | $3.0 billion | 11.0% |
| Oklahoma | $600 million | 11.3% |
| Oregon* | $1.8 billion | 25.0% |
| Pennsylvania | $4.5 billion | 17.8% |
| Rhode Island | $290 million | 9.9% |
| South Carolina | $877 million | 17.4% |
| South Dakota | $127 million | 10.9% |
| Tennessee | DK | Na |
| Texas | $13.4 billion | 31.5% |
| Utah | $437 million | 9.2% |
| Vermont | $150 million | 13.9% |
| Virginia* | $2.3 billion | 14.8% |
| Washington | $2.9 billion | 18.5% |
| West Virginia | $155 million | 4.1% |
| Wisconsin | $1.8 billion | 12.8% |
| States Total | $124.7 billion | 20.0% |
I guess if M wants to go conservative, err cheap, South D is looking nicesssssss?
ReplyDeleteCould Berkeley lure him here w/ a home?