The power of lists

Clichés are important, because they're usually true. "Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill" is sage advice. "Don't piss in a cops boot unless you want to go to jail" is axiomatic. "A stone without moss has recently been rolling" doesn't quite roll off the tongue, yet the more familiar adaptation is still valid.

One of my favorites is “Don't kick a rabbit for jumping.” Even if I didn't make it up, I'd still like it. Because I have such a clever tool at my disposal, I have a unique ability to solve one of the great mysteries of our age.

What's eating Barack Obama?

The problem is, perception. Our great and wise leader, the transformative figure that spoke so much better than “stupid old George Bush" has a hard time relating to the common man. Then again we mustn't kick rabbits for jumping.

There are certain things that the powerful just don't do. If Bill Gates is walking down the street and happens to see a quarter on the sidewalk… Does he stop and pick it up? No, the two or 3 seconds it would take for him to break his stride, bend down pick the coin up and put it in his pocket before resuming his gait is worth more than $.25.

Bill Gates not picking up a quarter, is just like a non-billionaire refusing to pick out cigarettes that have not been smoked down to the filter from ashtrays or the gutter.

In President Obama's world there are some things that are just beneath him. Trivial matters that are so far below his pay grade and intellectual superiority… That he doesn't perceive of, or address them.

Because our President operates at such a high level, he needs distractions, he needs relief from the powers of acute concentration that he applies to the problems that concern him.

To help clarify the hierarchy of activities in President Obama's world please review the lists below.

Issues that are beneath him.

(Trivial matters that do not require an individual of his talent and intellect to address)

1.    Unemployment 
2.    Economic conditions
3.    Securing our borders
4.    Free enterprise
5.    National security
6.    International threats
7.    Inflation
8.    Non-unionized  employees
9.   The integrity of the United States of America

Distractions

(Recreational pursuits that relieve the pressures associated with leadership)

1. International vacations
2. Golfing on the weekends
3. Smoking
4. Throwing parties at the White House
5. Observing cultural specific holidays
6. Domestic  vacations
7. Golfing during the week
8. Getting away with Michelle
9. Photo ops with his kids
10. Planning vacations
11. Air Force One
12. Wondering what Joe Biden will say next
13. Playing basketball
14. Talking about quitting smoking

 Unique and specific things that he feels qualified to address.

(Areas of expertise President Obama focuses on to the exclusion of all other activities.)

1. Standing in front of a Teleprompter
2. Reading prepared statements
3. Saying  “Let me be clear"
4. Fundraising
5. Running for reelection

Too often people expect their leaders and elected  officials to be focused, narrowly, on their office. A second area where disappointment can occur is when an official is not capable of performing certain tasks.

“Stupid old George Bush” had difficulty with grammar and looking comfortable in front of the camera.  As a result he was vilified and mocked for over nine years.

The current President will suffer much worse fate, he will be forgotten. Like Jimmy Carter and Millard Fillmore he is, at best, the answer to a trivia question;  and at worst, ignored like a fart in a bus station.

The same chant, just change the lyrics and the message becomes all the more clear

What happened to the quality of education if students and students alone had to pay for it?

Say the money for college could only be paid from W-4 wages. That youngsters could start working as soon as five or six and be taxed at 95%. The money would be held in a “lockbox” for their educational needs 12 years in the future. At that time their juvenile and adolescent wages could be accessed in addition to any work they were doing in the time they were not going to school.

After two years of college they would be eligible for scholarships, grants and other honorarium to advance their scholastic careers.

 The nature of protests on college campuses would change.  If the students were paying their own way, they would have less time to advocate the agenda of others and would be more focused on getting the greatest benefit from their exposure to academia.

Much the same way students are very proud, and righteous about their body art and piercings, when forced to use their own money to pay for education their attention to, and acceptance of non-scholastic distractions would be muted.

The obvious long-range benefits of indoctrinating adolescents and young adults to the concept of paying for things, and more importantly only buying things of high value would bring about significant changes.

Sometimes the words taken out of context, so it should be forgiven?

What about The N Word makes it so upsetting  and inappropriate to use?


The word packs such power to represent overt racial hatred, most people - regardless of race - should not even utter it.  The hatred, prejudice and inherent violence in bedded in the word brings it on par with the overt vulgarity associated with pornographic expletives.


When the word is used in “discourse” it has been downgraded to a cliché. Something said in hatred, to express a visceral reaction and downgrade the subject to a status of nonhuman. The level of disgust and outrage is lost with over usage. It is a most unholy curse and should not be used lightly.


Some say that people “in the community” that “know what it is to be one and to called one" are indemnified and allowed to casually referred to each other as N Words.


Still, to the families that know the injustice and cruelty associated with the word it packs a primal reaction to can only be expressed as horror intermixed with the fear known only from persecution.


Yet political pundits bandy the word about as if ordering iced tea on a warm summer day. The insensitivity to the stain of oppression is forgotten in their need to make a point.  The common excuse that, we have gone beyond that period in time, that it is behind us,  is the lamest alibi to dredge from the darkest periods of man's indecency to man, a word that is designed only to terrify.


To recognize the outrage, turn on MSNBC, turn on CNN and see how many times Democrats used the word Nazi. Ask yourself,  why is this N Word so freely used when it has nothing to do with the subject.

Standing up for what you believe, showing the people the way

In a state like Oregon, were symbolism trumps reality, the legislature likes to enact proud but meaningless resolutions designed to make them feel powerful. Add to that the “writing on the wall” foreshadowing of their own grisly fates... it is only natural they would feel a parental and symbiotic relationship with the municipal employees in Wisconsin.

Below is a representation of the fine work the Oregon Democratic Party did to create a more perfect union. Keep in mind, all the problems within their own jurisdiction had been solved, so they had nothing to do but dream the dreams of utopian bliss, brought on by the strength of governmental union enrollment.

WHEREAS, the right of collective bargaining is the backbone of union strength in the United States, the “or else” against the power of  employers to fire workers who are unwilling to work for low wages and in unsafe conditions, and (Municipal codes and strict civil service standards address the status of municipal  employees, their working conditions, compensation and recourse on grievances.   The statutes and regulations supersede union contracts and are often redundant.)

WHEREAS, the 8-hour work day, the 40-hour work week, weekends off,  worker’s compensation and collective bargaining itself all began in Wisconsin, and (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,  previously known as Lew Alcinder, started his professional basketball career in the state of Wisconsin. Harley-Davidson and people watching football in sub freezing conditions with replicas of cheese on their head are among the other cultural contributions that the Dairy State has brought to our country. Citing these additional examples, offers perspective on all the wonderful things we all take for granted and have very little chance of changing between now and return of the dinosaurs.)

WHEREAS, the wages, benefits and safe working conditions negotiated by unions have translated into equal benefits for non-union workers as well as union workers and their families, and (Provided one of the greatest booms to the manufacturing efforts in China, Mexico, China and India the world has ever seen. Although Marco Polo is credited with discovering the trade route to China, they would've never started making automobiles until the UAW chased all of the jobs out of Michigan.)

WHEREAS, for over one hundred years the Democratic Party has been the staunch ally of labor unions and the working people in the United States, and (Coerced the wages from the rank-and-file and channel the money to the Democratic Party providing an effective money laundering mechanism to promote statism over innovation to the detriment of every industry represented by collective bargaining.)

WHEREAS, the Republican Party has sided with corporate power against America’s working people, beginning with the Taft Hartley Act in 1947, and most egregiously with President Reagan’s assault against the Air Traffic Controllers union in 1982, and (Next to singing Kumbaya, bashing Ronald Reagan is one of the most powerful non-solution symbolic acts we can take to identify ourselves as people from The Planet 1969. Peace, love and organic dope forever!!!)

WHEREAS, most recently, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has declared open war on Wisconsin’s unions and their established collective bargaining rights, and (Rhetoric and the use of violent images can only safely be accomplished by the anointed intellectuals who serve as bureaucrats. The use of "war", "target" and collectivist movements popularized in north-central Europe from 1939 through 1945 have become clichés. To quote Mick Jagger,  "Like a newborn baby, it just happens every day.")

WHEREAS, the fourteen Wisconsin Democratic senators have refused to return to give the Wisconsin Senate the quorum to pass the bill that would strip collective bargaining from the state’s public workers unions, and (Using Google, one could easily identified the names of these “Heroic" legislators and  recognize their humanity by incorporating their names into this, to quote George Kennedy "World shaking” document.)

WHEREAS, Tea Party Governors in Ohio, Iowa, Indiana, Idaho, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Oklahoma are mounting similar attacks against the unions, and (Ohio, Iowa, Indiana, Idaho, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Oklahoma, are just like Oregon, New York, California, Wisconsin, Washington and the sad pathetic junkie passed out behind the 7/11… they don't have any money.)

WHEREAS, unions are the only counter balance against the unlimited corporate political spending unleashed by the Roberts Supreme Court’s “Citizens United v. FEC” ruling, (If only Douglas County, Oregon's outstanding unionized schools had produced someone that could've been seated on the Supreme Court, Chief Justice Roberts [The Next Reagan] and the rule of law would be subjugated to the demands of bureaucrats and their desire for higher compensation.)

Therefore THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY OF OREGON RESOLVES AS FOLLOWS:

1. We affirm our solidarity with the Wisconsin State Senators (the “Wisconsin 14”) in standing up to Governor Walker’s blatant attack on Wisconsin’s unions.

2. We further affirm our support for Oregon’s unions and their collective bargaining rights.

3. We call on our State Democratic Party and county Democratic Party Central Committees to assert their support of unions and their collective bargaining rights.

Resolution written by Sara Byers.

Resolution submitted by Dean Byers, Chair, Douglas County Democratic Party.

 Sarah and Dean Byers would have had at least a dozen more resolutions, but this was produced at 11:30 AM.  Every other Friday, under the union contract, they get to leave at noon. There was no way they were going to do anything other than enjoy a beautiful spring afternoon and escape the unsafe working conditions.

They have so much in common, why don't they just get married?

Bumper stickers promote road rage. There is nothing worse than being stuck behind a Visualize World Peace hybrid driver in the midst of a traffic jam. The only thing more precious is someone with the pentathlon... Gore/Lieberman, Kerry/Edwards, Stop This Endless War, Obama/Biden and  Coexist.

Speaking of coexist and proud but meaningless slogans that can be attached to your car with glue to make you seem more popular…

 Here is a fun game you can play.

 Barack Obama and Justin Bieber, Twins?

Communication Skills:

Both use microphones to communicate highly scripted messages that neither of them composed or created. Both appear to be clean and articulate when speaking on script.

Target Audience:

Justin appeals to screaming pre 16-year-old girls who spend other peoples money, excessively. Barack fanciers are typified by screaming liberals who spend other peoples money, excessively. In both cases the people that provide the cash for the purchases are confused and embarrassed by the products they financed.

Problem Solving:

People that disagree with them are identified as “haters” then shouted down with sloganeering.

 Medical Care

Both think Canada is the Alpha and Omega and will unabashedly gush their enthusiasm for the system, despite the fact neither of them will ever use it.

Rolling Stone Interviews

Both used the archaic magazine of cultural hipness to define their  edgy identity.

Smoking Cigarettes

Rarely photographed with a fag in their hand.

Winning Prestigious Awards

Both were embroiled with controversy for the Grammys and Nobel Peace Prize. Barack won his, despite having done nothing. Justin was denied his, despite having the same amount of talent as the winner.

 Media Scrutiny

The reporters assigned to maintaining the image will go out of their way to keep it from being tarnished.

Legacy

Collecting dust on the shelf of embarrassing  moments of our lives. Barack next to the bust of Jimmy Carter and Ross Perot; while Justin will rest with Leif Garrett and Donny Osmond eight tracks.

Next Gig

Co-Hosting  a show on MSNBC.

Kind of like Jeopardy, but easier than Wheel of Fortune

Pop Quiz

Great moments in history are defined by great leaders.  Words and actions come together in a way to create perfect moments, defined by icons known throughout the world.

Suffering from athletes foot, and annoyed by poor extermination services, all the while being embarrassed he's a Russian… Khrushchev stands up at the UN, takes off his shoe slams it down  on the table and screams...

A)  Let's get pizza
B)  I thought it ordered the Bud light
C)  Мы вас похороним!  (We will  bury you!)

Correct answer is C
While portly and a fan of sausages, the Soviet leader's pallet turns to  borsch while threatening global domination, not party food. Bud Lite would not be invented for another 20 years.  Answer C was the only Russian phrase, thus the obvious solution.

After using overwhelming military force against some second rate tyrant in Turkey and Julius Caesar returned home and said...

A) Veni Vidi Vici   (I came, I saw,  I conquered)
B)  Who the hell has been messing with my crap?
C)  Brutus, if they ever make a movie of your life...

Correct answer is A
This one was also easy. A is the only answer in Latin. While B may have been said, is not historically pertinent. Motion pictures would not be invented for another 1800+ years.

During a concert in Toronto, Canada; enjoying some pharmaceutical quality opiates, Yoko Ono walked to the microphone and screeched...

A) What you call a dog with wings?.... Linda, hahhaha
B) John, Pray for Peace
C) No one understands me because I'm an artist!

Correct answer is B
While Linda Eastman may not have yet become Linda McCartney, the band Wings had yet to be formed. Answer C  Is only half correct.

With the price of gasoline set to go beyond four dollars a gallon, the country of Libya in Civil War, and nuclear reactors severely damaged by a tsunami in Japan, former editor of the Harvard Law Review and current de facto leader of the free world, Barack Obama said…

A)  What time do we tee off on Saturday?
B)  Raising money for reelection is hard to do in a recession.
C)  Michelle let's go to Brazil

From over 2000 years ago, entertainment's essential elements are still with us

Everythin' comes and goes
Marked by lovers and styles of clothes.
Things that you've held high
And told yourself were true,
Lost or changin'
As the days comes down to you.

  Joni Mitchell, It all Comes Down to You

One of the great philosophers and media critics of our time, R. C. Price, believes, “Everything that I know, that is true, I learned from  watching wrestling on TV."

Modern wrestling, as defined by Vince McMahon, is an extension of the Greek tragedies augmented with elbow drops and flying dropped kicks off the top rope.   Nowhere is this essential and ancient form of communication more obvious than in today's world of political discourse.

“Just like Hitler” is political speech for they are Republican. In the squared circle, where men get sweaty and pin each other in the center of the ring… Only to talk about it later, use the phrase “He has no right to call himself the Heavyweight Champion of the World. You saw what he did, he cheated; he used a foreign object when the ref wasn't looking…”

When wrestlers are more coherent and better spoken than politicians, the government has fallen to levels.

P.J. Crowley sounds more like the assistant  manager at the Ramada Inn asking The Rolling Stones to quit throwing the  dead hookers into the swimming pool, "Because it's scaring the other guests."

Back in the day, political discourse was a debate. Logic rule the day, rhetoric was sizzle to make the steak all that much better.

Around the time of Aristotle, wrestling was a noble profession, a chance to get all oiled up and grapple. The outcome was determined by skill and will.

Today the WWE, by their own admission, creates monsters. Extreme characters, incapable of compromising and willing to do or say anything. They exist to frighten or protect their legions of polarized fans. The spectacle and production exists to extend the performance beyond surreal. 

Is that any different from producing 30 minute films to introduce candidates to their own party?

Was candidate Barack Obama treated any differently than Hulk Hogan during the zenith of Hulk-o-mania?

Are you ready for the main event? Let's get ready to RRRRUMBLE!!!!!

Singing Do-wah ditty ditty dumb ditty do... Or just walking down the street.

Try walking down the street and counting every letter E you see. This is not a good experiment to undertake on your way to an important meeting or someplace you have to be on time.

E could stand for excuses, after all there are two of them in the word. As you walk down the street every E is a new excuse, a reason something didn't happen… Like the pony you should've gotten when you turned eight or the fact that Rachel Coughlin never paid attention to you in the 8th grade.

E could stand for excellence. There are four E's in excellence. There are also examples of excellence all around us.  In fact as popular, 1960s vintage singer, Andy Williams used to croon “the world still astounds you, each time you look at a star.”

Keep in mind reciting poetry to lions does not amuse them, it simply affirms you are en entrée, incapable of fighting back.

Your eyes and perceptions help your brain interpret the world on the other side of the skull. Little bits of information are collected then used to affirm what you feel and know to be true.

The brain craves continuity.

OTT...  what are the next two letters in sequence? It's not a trick, there is an answer, and the answer is something that you know.

As the brain searches for continuity, it swims through a sea of emotions and simultaneously walks through a desert of demanding logic. Most people claim they can't do more than one thing at a time, in reality, your brain is sparking synapses at over 1 trillion every 10th the second.

FFS... are the next three letters in sequence… What are the next two?

If you are an E means Excuse kind of person, the whole OTTFFS thing is really stupid, and just another example of the trivial crap that infects our lives and makes everything overly complicated.

If you are an E  means Expedite kind of person, you have cut and pasted the six letters in the Google search box and have found the answer using your keen knowledge of Command C, Command V and  search algorithms that allow you to forget more than half the things you used to know. The internet is all about surrendering  facts to the world of cyberspace.

If you are an E means Excellence kind of person, you've either figured it out,  are trying to remember chemical compounds from 10th grade or hoping there will be another clue in the form of a new paragraph.

You are right!

SEN... Are the next three letters, what are the next two?

Unlike the shape of your nose, the color of your eyes or the  scar by your elbow, where your brother pushed you down the stairs… Your brain has the capacity to change its physical composition several times a day.

When your brain changes, your thought patterns change.  Maybe not all of them… But enough to change perception and behavior.

Think about children under 15 months of age. When they have to eliminate… They go.

Between 15 and 24 months they understand that they should separate, themselves from the rest of the family, when they eliminate. They still manage to go all over themselves, but they recognize they should do so by themselves.

Between 24 and 60 months accidents may occur, but rarely. The individual will do everything in their power to avoid being a baby.

New behaviors are easily tied to new perceptions.

Here's another hint...

OTTFFSSEN _ _ _ _ F...  what are the four letters where the blanks have been inserted?

If you want to make a difference in someone's life, make a difference. If you want to act in a loving and caring way, act like a human.

Your brain and your behavior adapt to whoever and whatever you think you are. Changing is as simple as One, Two, Three.

From five dollars a ticket 83 years ago… Part III

Andre has a red flag, Chiang Ching's is blue
They all have hills to fly them on except for Lin Tai Yu
Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games
Hiding out in tree-tops shouting out rude names
  - Peter Gabriel, Games Without Frontiers


One of the first things you learn as a stockbroker, is that all the people willing to give $1 million for just calling and chatting for a couple of minutes… Don't have $1 million anymore.  


Jed Clampett was goodhearted and innocent.  He had tons of money, and was more than willing to help anyone. He was also a television character played by Buddy Ebsen.


When a weekly protagonist would ask for money, the Clampett clan would spring into gear and attempt to solve the problem through hard work. One of the reasons Jed had a lot of money, is because he never spent.


In Texas, a Beverly Hills Hillbillies solution was introduced to the legislature. One of the representatives authored a bill that would require every illegal citizen, upon coming into contact with law enforcement, be delivered to the home of one of the representatives serving the great state.


To quote Flatt and Scruggs... "Black gold, Texas Tea."


The beauty is in the simplicity, as humor is in brevity. Take the problem to the people most responsible and best able to solve it.


This is one program that should be expanded. To rid ourselves of the bitter divisiveness and rhetoric that is dividing our country, we should apply the "Black gold, Texas tea" concept all our problems.


Require advocates of programs to be responsible for solving them. Let them do the heavy lifting. If the Kennedy family wants the minimum wage to be $16 an hour. So be it. All they have to do is fly a bright orange flag with a number 16 and a dollar sign outside of the family compound.


People making less than $16 an hour could produce their W-2s and one of the Kennedys, tears flowing from their eyes, could offer to make up the difference from the family fortune.


Lisa Edelstein, from the TV show House MD, has become an advocate of abortion rights. All she has to do is fly a large bright green flag from her home or mansion with an AR imprinted on it.   People needing abortions would know that someone that plays a caring administrator at a teaching hospital would gladly pay for it.


When U2 goes on tour,  Bono can not only contribute all the gate receipts to international debt relief, he could also auctioned off his spectacles and/or leather jacket.


Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon who are all generally upset about everything, could just leave large buckets of money at the end of their driveways. One of their staff, would be charged with making sure that the buckets were always full.


If the socially minded philanthropists wanted to claim tax deductions, let them. If they needed more money, go on tour or start a new movie. In the case of the Kennedys, fire up the still and sell moonshine in dark alleys.


People that believed in the causes, would patronize the artistic events of their favorite celebrities. The mainstream belief that advocates new solutions from creative, talented and compassionate people be applied to social ills… Can now be tested.


It is a special obligation that our celebrity class put their money where their class is… Show us all how it should be done, redistribute the wealth in the most direct and obvious way… Do good and do it all day long.

From five dollars a ticket 83 years ago… Part II

Hans plays with Lotte, Lotte plays with Jane
Jane plays with Willi, Willi is happy again
Suki plays with Leo, Sacha plays with Britt
Whistling tunes we hid in the dunes by the seaside
Whistling tunes we're kissing baboons in the jungle

    -Peter Gabriel, Games Without Frontiers

Poor Justin Bieber, they put a microphone in front of him and asked a question or two. The answers show an incredible vulnerability on the “Celebrity Credibility Gap.” You can make excuses because he still is 6 to 18 months away from pubic hair… Yet he isn't that much different than listening to Alex Baldwin or  Binko the Dancing Clam.

When Justin was asked about the US healthcare system, he said it was terrible because his bodyguard's wife was going to have difficulties with her pregnancy and the bodyguard was going to have a hard time paying for it.

Justin being fabulous, was perhaps unaware that he didn't hired a Canadian bodyguard… The Canadian bodyguard would be covered under their universal healthcare.

Justin being such a unique performer (so much more unique than Donny Osmond or Leif Garrett) could using his own money, provide for any short fall in funding.  Better yet provide a more generous benefit package to his goons and staff.

When Sarah Jessica Parker and her cleavage were asked about the safety net for the poor,  and she responded that her aunt and uncle lived in poverty and there were no programs to help them.

Because Sarah was obviously busy, she could've asked Justin  Bieber to let her family live in his basement, until they could get Canadian citizenship, and then at least be somewhat  covered... or instead of figuring out which clever pun could be inserted in the next episode of "SiTC"… She could have demanded the studio make them "Accessory Wranglers" For this series she produced.

Sheryl Crow followed Larry David's wife around to promote the idea that a single sheet of toilet paper, per bowel movement, was the only way to heal the planet and stop global warming.

Because of this cornucopia of interesting and often poorly conceived commentary from the celebrity class, there needs to be systems and controls...  or the directors of biotechnology and pharmaceutical development firms need to go on tour with banjos and Frisbee catching dogs to entertain and delight stadiums full of screaming fans. In many cases, their lack of talent would be less obvious than the sophomoric comments of singers and actors.

From five dollars a ticket 83 years ago… Part I

And just like that, the Academy Awards have come and gone. Long ago I stopped caring, not about humanity and the potential of man, but about award shows in which the jurors did not have to see the objects in order to vote for them.

Last night, I felt more out of the mainstream than usual.   With the quality of movies declining, while the predictability and price is escalating… I just don't go. Moreover, when I do go, the previews are so offensive, it further dissuades attendance.

So imagine mounting ignorance and embarrassment of watching “anonymous celebrities” take home awards for work that was never seen. Then to compound the awkwardness, Jeff Bridges stands on stage and addresses each of the nominees for Best Actress as if they were finalists in the kindergarten finger painting competition. The  authoritarian flavor and obvious sexism, should have caused protests in the aisles.

The trial was a pig circus, they never had a chance.
  -Bob "Spokesman for the Woodstock Generation" Dylan

One of the celebrated the victors arrives at the podium and begins to swear. One of her colleagues, excuses the behavior as “the new hip young Academy Awards show."

It is hard to imagine Grace Kelly or even Sacheen Littlefeather  blurting out profanity as a way of expressing gratitude. Lindsay Lohan is having far too great an effect on the SAG members.  The code of conduct is clearly on the wane.

When members of the Academy for Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences started to mail in their ballots, both literally and figuratively, it signaled the end of the event. Alfred Hitchcock, a moviemaker… when moviemakers were artists, advocated using film as a way to hold a mirror to society. He felt his craft showed who we were; pitted against our darkest desires.  Suspense was a fundamental hope that the superego would triumph over the id.

When a presenter,  takes a “personal moment”,  to twist back and forth on stage to show how her dress moves… It reeks of undisciplined 12-year-old or precocious 3-year-old.

The producers of the show have an obligation to hold the event in high esteem. Failing to vet the presenters and OCSAR jurists assures that the inmates take hold of the asylum. When popularity is more important than craft... all you can discuss is what they're wearing… Isn't that the point of the Academy Awards show these days?

After all the mirror to  society says, “OSCAR is metaphor for Chicagoland politics."

Vacation Update

Random Thoughts...

Leading off, where is the end of the rainbow, where is pot of gold we are all looking for? I have seen the future and it is Denny's. Southern California's playroom, Palm Springs has more Denny's per capita than any place I have ever been. On the main strip you can see one Denny's from the parking lot of the next closest Home of The Grand Slam.

It is not clear if the Denny's are a hold over from the Bob Hope/Frank Sinatra era. After banging starlets, Big Frank loved to go get Liver and Onions, grilled up greasy. You can take the guy out of Jersey, you can't take Jersey out of the guy.

A second thought centers around a series of late night informercials on "The Up Coming Boom In Mediocre Food Offered 24/7/365" Don't answer yet, we will throw in a second Denny's at no extra cost... plus order now and say "I like serving drunks after the bars close" and we will throw in a DQ too.

There maybe some hidden aspect of Gay Culture that mandates a proliferation diners. Why is still not clear. Some experts think it is just away to use Gay Culture and madate in the same sentence.

Next up Smoke Shops or as they are called on Planet 60s "Head Shops." I counted 14 of them just driving around today. This is a big number, even for Berkeley in the 1970's.

In an age of Medical Port Smokers, are Smoke Shops not only selling penis shaped bongs, but the weed to boot? Film at 11.

The Models/Weather reporters all concern about the cold temps. It may get as low as 59 on Satureday. The good news is Sodium Chloride (Think... what does a model need to read weather reports and look interesting at the same time) doesn't freeze until -4 degrees C. So it is unlikely there will be a run on heated bras.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say

Typos, I've had a lot,
 but then like snot,
 they're just wiped away.
   -  modified version of "My Way"

In an attempt to promote customer service and a mole elevating moment… I'd like to respond to the poorly edited critique on yesterday's posting.

My lack of self-awareness and middle-class values boldly predicted the outrage at the GRAMMY Awards.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/02/20/music-exec-slams-grammys-for-snubbing-justin-bieber-eminem/

http://postconventionalwisdom.blogspot.com/2011/01/winners-maybe-not-so-lucky.html


I'm glad that you don't think I'm funny, because being an Original Gangster Hard-Core Death Rapper,  I don't have time for humor. I'm too busy being kept down by the man, avoiding the cap that has a date with my rump and busting serious rhymes about exoskeleton life forms and yogurt.

My overall regret in offending you is deep. I just wish you had signed your name and left contact information. I would like nothing more than to enjoy your company over a Grand Slam Breakfast at the Denny's of your choice.

Denny's deserves a second chance, after the racial problem they encountered in North Carolina.  Although I don't eat breakfast, I would enjoy nothing more than watching you eat eggs and hold toast opposite your fork.

Because Denny's serves the Grand Slam Breakfast  24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year… I'm sure if we could find a way to absolve our mutual guilt and find common ground, We can make the world a better place.

Once we had made the world better place, we could celebrate by drinking a Coca-Cola together.

In a reflective and self-aware way, I now recognize that both of these attempts at a summit, involve multinational corporations. This may be troubling to you. I will attempt to audit their books to make sure neither Denny's nor Coca-Cola is owned by the man.

In awkward moments, like this, I just wish the Beatles and written more songs about social dysfunction. Perhaps, in this time of trouble, I should listen to Mother Mary, as she comforts me. Hey Jude, I don't remember the rest of the song… Is there a point here?

A Modern Day Parable Part III

Quinn Martin had a remarkable career, over 21 straight years of having at least one television show in production covering three decades.  Often featuring Ford products, The Fugitive, 12 O'clock High, The  FBI, The Invaders, The Streets of San Francisco, Barnaby Jones and my personal favorite Cannon all featured epilogues and prologues.

Not that the plots were so overly complex that no one could figure out what was going on, Mr. Martin fancied himself a man of the theater, more than just a guy making a lot of cop shows.

Epilogue:    (May Quinn Martin smile down on us from heaven)

Production versus expression is about to come to a head.

Back when work was about production and providing a useful service, compensation was obvious. The more unique and necessary your skill, the more you made.

When work became an extension of expression, rules and regulations served a new master. The axiom  “form follows function” was shelved. Two or more bureaucrats, left to their own devices, were allowed to create new standards, and new policies to “correct” problems.

The new policies, standards and directives all needed new staff to license, inspect and enforce the new edicts. Productivity was sacrificed because Form 526(R) was not filed before the quarterly deadline. Because of this failure, Schedule 12000-250 was never initiated, as a result the Bureau has no record of you ever having requested the permit.  Of course the good news is  by providing notarized copies of your application filing form, your tax returns for the last three years, your voter identify card and deed to your property, we can initiate a DR-45/6609(s) which will allow you to reapply for the correct permit,  please pay at the window.

The bureaucracy exists to create regulations and regulations exist to support and justify the bureaucracy.

In time when all 50 states had money to burn, they acted like Charlie Sheen and dabbled with stimulants and hookers. When they ran out of money, they borrowed. When they ran out of borrowed money, they borrowed more.

With each dollar, each borrowed dollar and each borrowed dollar, after the original borrowed dollar had been spent came a new and wonderful statement of expression.

1% of the cost of all government construction would go to art.

Mandatory raises were tied to inflation and increases in the minimum wage.

Municipal governments reached the point where they would go to the mat to ensure all covered employees would be entitled to sexual reassignment surgeries.

In Wisconsin the average total compensation package of state workers is 20% higher than the people they serve. If the work they did was on par with scientists studying nanotechnology or providing breakthroughs in composite materials…   God love them, they earned every dime.

But if their unique skill is complying with the rules they invented, that's not that unique skill. If their unique skill is advancing a political agenda at the cost of complicating the lives of citizens, that's not a skill, it is an annoyance.

When the people of Egypt riot because they are hungry and the make less than $3,000 a year, is cause for revolution. When state workers riot because their complete compensation package is “stuck” at $80,000 a year, it is also cause for revolution.

Without political correctness,  50% of what government does would be described as the unnatural union between sus scrofa and mongoloid, or at the very least the excrement created by diuretic chicken.

With political correctness,  the same assessment is both accurate and heartfelt… The difference is we choose to express our frustration as opposed to working on a solution that reestablishes the correct and natural order between the governed and the government.

Now is the time to express our work.

A Modern Day Parable Part II

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt.
  Merle Travis, 16 Tons


So the grasshopper said, in the most dignified voice, using the most proper English he had learned from a University, "I don't know if I could selflessly commit myself to the unending monotony of scurrying back and forth carrying bits of food 1,000 times my own weight."


The lady grasshopper, who looked fabulous, was amused. Her family had started a chain of hotels years ago. Because she was so fabulously well-to-do, work took on a new meaning to her. She perceived her role in the universe to be part vixen in part cultural icon. She looked at the sculpted hind legs of the grasshopper next to her and could only imagine how wonderful he must be in an act of freeform procreation. To express her willingness to go skanky, she said “I love work, I can watch it all day." And then rubbed her legs together like a common cricket.


But enough about anthropomorphic insects…


For generations on generations on generations;  and generations before that survival was based on production. You were defined by your work, the quality of your work, the amount of work you did  and the progress you made as a direct result of your work.


If you didn't work, you didn't eat. The tears of starving children and the lack of color in your wife's cheek; drove many a man into the freezing predawn darkness.


Produce or perish.


80 years ago it was easier to talk about what you had than what you were missing. The litany of things gone without, could fill a library. The treasures in a family, were the health of the children and a few precious heirlooms.


If children had ribbons in their hair, dad was doing alright.   You displayed your achievements by providing your children with things you only dreamed of having.


You felt lucky to have a job, to make something, to support your family, to share in the active improvement of the community.


If you wanted more, you worked harder.


80 years ago, the customer was King. The way you treated the patrons of your business, reflected upon your business, and your place in the community. “Thank you” was a truncated form of “Without your business, my family and I would starve, I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to serve you, I can barely contain myself.”


We will now observe a brief timeout for the people over 50 to wipe a tear from their eye as they think about their saintly grandparents. At the same time the people under 40 can attempt to stop shaking their heads at the obvious maudlin  display of a reality unknown to their generation.


And now a thought from Joni Mitchell:


Well maybe it's the time of year,
or maybe it's the time of man.
I don't know who I am,
but you know life is for learning.
   - Woodstock


Over the last 40 years United States of America has changed. Where once society valued production, thrift and accomplishment; the new vanguard is expression.


What you feel is much more important than what you know. What you do is not nearly as important as what you think about it. An equal respect is awarded to all endeavors, whether they are successful or abysmal failures.


Life's journey is pursued without a map, mileposts, stated destination or itinerary. After all, life is for learning… But you know that.


Meanwhile back in Bugville...


Joseph Smith told the Mormons to pray. Suddenly from the  West the skies grew dark, as if the dusk was moving to meet the midday sun. The faithful looked up and saw an ever darkening cloud of gulls diving from the sky to consume the locusts.


They wept, God had respected their work, they would be saved and they would be thankful.


Later that night, along the banks of the Great Salt Lake, a young seagull remarked to his friend, “Earlier today I ate the most attractive grasshopper, I think it was getting it's freak on with a well sculpted and highly educated katydid."


Tomorrow...  Part III




















  

A Modern-day Parable, Part I

 A long, long time ago,

 I can still remember…

- Don McLean, American Pie

So I did, what had to be done. I was a victim of a series of circumstances that caused the chemicals in my brain to act in a way, that only I could understand. Then again, I'm a stinking artist and I have to express myself.

Let me explain…

On my laundry list of personal pet peeves, control issues trump all other human and social interactions. Next up is a lack of coherent and organized systems and processes. Surprisingly, number three  involves issues or systems and processes that I did not organize, and therefore are stupid.

But enough about me...

For seven years, I went into the same Motor Mocha to order the same thing. The drink came to $2.50 and I tipped a buck and a half. I ordered the same thing, at the same time, everyday. (organized systems and processes need to be repeated ad nauseam)

Every day the staff at Motor Mocha would be so interested in chatting with each other, they would neglect to put the milk out on the condiment bar. Being a problem solver, and a lover of all humanity, I took it upon myself to retrieve milk from the back of the store.

The day turned to night, night turn today, the salmon spawned, the seasons began a new  and I continued my thankless and glamour-less position as a volunteer milkman. Thus proving I am a lover of all humanity.

About Motor Mocha…

Motor Mocha is no more. A direct competitor to Starbucks and provider high-quality coffee and coffee derivative products, they created the finest coffee milkshake ever to travel down a straw.

They also employed malcontents and  overqualified underachievers who were just steps away from being featured on Oprah and Dr. Phil shows. One of my favorite Motor Mocha workers had triple Masters in French literature, poetry and  philosophy from Reed College. He had been a student for 12 years and was making minimum wage. He could've taught disgruntled-ism  to postal employees.

Other employees were emotionally scarred or critically flawed, yet could at least 35% of the time, make correct change and managed to serve coffee.

The Event T-24 hours:

On my way to work, I waited 5 minutes to be let into the store at  6:05 AM,  300 seconds after the posted beginning of  the business day. I went to order my drink, paid and tipped the server.  I was waiting for my drink, the clerk told me that the refrigerator in the back had crapped out. She expanded that the orange juice was going to go bad and asked what she should do.

Being a lover of all humanity, I suggested that she mark the orange juice down to one dollar a serving, make a little sign and try selling it all before it had to be thrown out. In just moments, I had surmised away to keep the food from being destroyed (at a total loss), provided new consumers with an outstanding value, and promoted universal goodwill throughout the cosmos.

The Event T-12 minutes:  

Double, double toil and trouble; 

Fire burn, and caldron bubble.  William Shakespeare, McBeth

The next day I arrived and waited past the posted beginning of the working day to be let into the Motor Mocha. I proceed to the counter and tried to order my drink. The woman that was on the service side of the register; told me “You don't work here."

She was right. I agreed with her and tried to acknowledge as much. I was interrupted and was told “You had no right to tell Mary to sell the orange juice for a dollar.”

I was tempted to explain that  a right is a guarantee against government restriction or interference. For instance the right to free speech guarantees that the government shall not infringe upon the citizens ability to address one another.

I further recognized that the woman was agitated and discussing the finer points of law and vocabulary, might be inappropriate before 6:30 AM.

I re-attempted to order my drink. The woman explained to me, she was the manager and readdressed the correct and mutually agreed-upon fact that I did not work there… At this point she introduced a new concept. She pointed out that I was not to go into the back of the shop to get  milk.

I re-re-attempted to order my drink.   The woman explained to me, she knew what I ordered and she knew who I was. I paid for the drink and tipped the buck and a half. There was another customer, I took a step back and let him conduct his business.

The Event T-180 seconds.

The woman was behind the counter. I was against the windows  that defined the front of the store. 

A bird chirped. (dramatic inference, may not actually happen)

I had been waiting four minutes for my drink. I asked the woman where my drink was. She pointed to an area just outside of my field of view, without speaking.

I collected my drink and walked a few step so I could address her directly.  In a clear and calm speaking voice I said,  "Unfulfilled expectation lead to disappointment There are number way to express disappointment This is how I do it."

The Event:

 

I threw, with great vigor, my drink agains the ceiling behind the counter.  It began to rain steamed milk and coffee the woman told me I had to clean it up. I told her I didn't work there and that would be a good idea to put a towel over the register to keep it from shorting out.  

 

In an obscenity laced diatribe, she explained I was no longer welcome in her store as I was walking out the door.

 

Tomorrow... Part II

  

Birds are not free, they are chained to the sky or if Bob Dylan would've had television time he would've said " there is nothing on"

When Dwight D. Eisenhower instituted the interstate freeway program, it set in motion a 20 year cycle of growth. The automobile transformed the way we lived and moved. Once the transportation issue was mitigated, people could live away from congested cities and goods could efficiently removed beyond railway hubs.

Television has all the tools in place for a similar evolution. With more efficient and simpler to use recording devices, when shows  are broadcast is no longer an issue.

With the plethora of  cable channels either rerunning Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the neo-goth Gilligan's Island of its day, or awaiting the time when they can unleash a tsunami of CSI shows into syndication… A breath of fresh air is more than needed.

The answer  is to revisit “Roots” and the "Thorn Birds". At one point miniseries dominated television.… And like bunt cakes they can return again to rule the roost.

Limit the length to 12 hours.  Produce 3 to 6  120 minute shows and distribute them even during marathon form as reruns or weekly/daily drips.  If you miss one, TiVo and watch it when you want.

If it is remotely interesting, six hours leaves people wanting more… And if it's boring after a couple hours… Prepare the remote for hyper clicking.

Computer-generated imaging has come down in price, so the production costs are reasonable.  Any number of novels or biographical stories that are too big for a movie and two small to be dragged out into serious form. YouTube proves there are enough creative people to storm the studio walls and have our own Egyptian moment.

Let the production companies buy the time premieres, so the network is indemnified against risk. For reruns, the network can either lease or by the episodes from the production company. The public broadcasting model, of limited corporate sponsorship could be applied to this format. Commercial time could be available on informational shows between series.

Television needs to adapt to the technology that is available today. It is not 1958,  the consumer is not limited to three or four channels. Quality works every time it is tried. There are answers beyond brooding teenagers lamenting the fact they have to kill demons, when their attention should be focused on toppings and zits.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays.... We have good news, we have bad news.

At first thought this looked like one of the days that was going to lead to uninspired drudgery. The middle of February, in the Pacific Northwest... dawn looks like 5:15 PM. You live inside of the can of battleship grey paint, waiting for the brush of life to apply you to a smooth and treated surface, lovingly.

In Anchorage Alaska, at Nordstrom's,  is a steel belted radial tire that somebody returned. Nordstrom's, famous for their return policy accepted the tire and issued the person credit. Nordstrom's does not sell tires. The guy that took the exchange was promoted to store manager.

In his honor here's a quick look at the news you can use…

The City of Portland, in an attempt to control the "sinister forces" that manipulate hygiene products… Is going to outlaw colognes, perfumes and anti-perspirants on city workers, while they work in city offices.

Best case scenario: The City of Port and workers subscribe to Guns and Ammo, while waiting for a chance to go postal on the first  August day the air conditioner craps out.

Worst-case scenario: The On the Verge of Stink  campaign is expanded to public transportation.

First Nutritionist and wife of the greatest spender in the history of the world, is out promoting breast-feeding. The administration wants the IRS to provide tax credits and/or deductions for mothers that nurse. It is hard to express the gratitude that we all feel knowing that the "sinister forces" controlling big formula, like Similac are finally going to be brought to their knees. How could billionaires want tax breaks when they should go to the flower of humanity, mother and child?

Best case scenario: The tax credit is expanded to the husbands  of nursing moms.

Worst-case scenario:  Deduction will be proven to be discriminatory. Gay couples that adopt children, would not be able to provide lactating mammary glands.

Pres. Clinton is working as a casting consultant for a new opera based on the life of Anna Nicole Smith. The London-based production company felt the former president would provide a unique perspective on the necessary sensual, innocence and naïveté needed to bring Anna Nicole's part to life. The 42nd President has said he plans to use "sinister forces" to bring each of the actresses to their knees throughout the working auditions.

Best case scenario: None of it is true

Worst-case scenario: Part of it is true

Whispers in the dark and things that go bump in the night

February 14 means Valentine's Day, or the initial scene from Some Like It Hot. On the day that commemorates a brutal shootout in Chicago and the celebration of love, expressed via Hallmark cards, flowers and chocolate, it is important to have measured expectations and a realistic baseline.

In the misunderstood oversized belt buckled adaptation of Saturday Night Fever, Johnny Lee sings about “looking for love in all the wrong places.” The problem is looking for love, when you should be open to feeling love.

From the first moments you are held and kissed by your parents, our   heart attempts to teach our mind what we need to feel loved. Over the next decade and a half  the consequences of life wrestle with the ideal of perfect love.

Just before any understanding could be reached, hormones run rampant and sexual desire trumps everything you know to be true. Emotional truth is defenseless against a cute smile, soulful eyes, a tight butt and cleavage. Much the way that puffing on a Marlboro is a substitute for maturity, with an acknowledgment Elvis Costello, “There are some things you can't cover up with lipstick and powder.”

Despite going hungry at the buffet of lust, the heart continues to beat, ever hopeful to be heard, recognized and touched ever so sweetly. Unable to speak in a sea of emotion, lost on a tide in search of a notion; lub-dub...lub-dub... lub-dub beats your heart and with smiles and tears, in longing through the years… It wants, it needs, it feels for that perfect time to be touched and love again.

From the pure love of God, to the magical love of a mother,  we search to find the perfect silence, in the presence of another that allows love to wash away the ashes of the past.

True love promotes sacrifice, compassion, joy and recognition of all that we are… and all that we are not. True love creates families that can instill the traditions and purpose of love in others. 

Lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub,  listen to your heart, speak only with your eyes and smiles. From the time we were born, we were more than conversant in the foundations of emotional truth.

Lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub,  listen to your true love's heart. It should sound a lot like yours. 

Is "Drive Angry" a Nicholas Cage movie or a line from Groundhogs Day?

When you think of Nicholas Cage, what comes to mind. He is been acting from 1981 to date and according to IMDB has appeared in 66 different movies.

Starting with fast times at Ridgemont High, Valley Girl, Birdy,  Peggy Sue Got Married, Raising Arizona and Moonstruck did look like his career was destined for greatness. It was almost as if, he didn't need to be related to Francis Ford Coppola to be successful.

He did small films for a while, to prove he was artistic, then performed a his best work to date in the incredibly depressing and accurate Leaving Las Vegas,  in 1995. Four years later he worked with Tony Soprano and Joaquin Phoenix in a very creepy 8mm.   Thus concluded the interesting part of his career.

He tried tying his name to a franchise “National Treasure" which lasted for two films. In 2012 is attempting to re-franchise himself with Ghost Rider II.   Ghost Rider is Xoxian  Indian  for  released straight to video.

Is Nicholas Cage's problem a lack of quality scripts? The answer is, no; a lack of quality scripts is all of Hollywood's problem.

Is Nicholas Cage's problem having poor representation and the worst decision-making ever? The answer  is, no; these problems dog everyone in sports and entertainment.

In fact, Nicholas Cage is a metaphor for the FDA. There are more FDA agents and there are farmers and doctors combined. As a result, there is more than 1 to 1 supervision of all people that produce food and prescribe medicine for the people in this country.

Despite having overwhelming force and a really cool name, (FDA should have been a power trio in the early1970s, kind of  vacuum filler after the Beatles broke up) this seemingly important agency has allowed  children to become obese.

The FDA has been so derelict in their duties that important family members of formerly popular people, like Michelle Obama and Michael Bloomberg have had to declare a war on salt and sugar.

If the agency had testicular fortitude, they would wail and moan and demand these modern-day superheroes of health to shut up and go back to doing the important work they were previously… Okay bad example; They weren't one doing anything… These superheroes should go on vacation, read the New York Times and attend openings... the exhausting things celebrities used to fill their day timers and provide excuses to shop.

In the meantime, Nicholas Cage and Johnny Depp should team up and make the ultimate independent/destined for obscurity art flick.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000115/#Actor

The Answers to Three Questions on Everyone's Lips

Three great ideas to digest over your weekend.

The city of Portland is investing $17 million to create a landscape that will support the city's needs for Asian elephants, on a sustainable basis for generations. Now that that problem has been addressed, our city fathers can begin to repatriate all the socks lost in laundromats from 1965 through 1972.

It is important to know, the sustained Asian elephant herd will be available for public viewing, at least twice a year. When Asian elephants are being sustainable, it's best not to get between an amorous bull and wanton cow. Because of the communal nature of the pachyderms, they will not be sold, bartered or loaned to other elephant fanciers.

If this project fails, one can only hope elephant chops chased like chicken.

The lottery is looking for new ways to generate interest.

 Lottery solution number one…

 A game called “Now You're Obama"

Winners will get the use of the United States mint from 5:01 PM on a Friday until 8:59 AM the following Monday. During this time the lucky lottery player can print as much money as they can. They will have to surrender 39% to the feds in 15% of their local states… But hey does it get any better than that?

 Lottery solution number two…

 A game called “Top-tier Lobbyist"

Winners receive a 100% exemption from all taxation for years three . They will pay no income, capital gains or property tax, as well as, a complete exemption from all fees and assessments.

This exemption is transferable and can be sold to the highest bidder. S&P 100 companies can pay several billion dollars a year in taxation. The proceeds from the winning bid would be taxed. But the payout would be incredible. Consider in 2008 Exxon paid $17 billion in taxes. If they purchased the exemption at a 33% discount to their tax obligation, the lottery winner would take home $6 billion, give half of it to the government can still have enough money to buy a double crispy fire burrito from Taco Bell every day for the rest of his life.

Bonus lottery solution

 A game called “YouTube Gold”

The winner gets to pick one politician to be placed between an amorous bull Asian elephant and either Clay Atkins or a wanton Asian elephant cow. The events would be captured in high definition digital photography and become the sole property of the person with the winning ticket.

If YouTube had an Oscar... this would be it.

It's like a giant flea market, only better… Cash buyers welcome!

How do you solve a problem like Mubarak?
What do you do if Egypt lets him go?
There's got to be away, that he can save the day,
 we can't let over $45 billion getaway.
- extracted from “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria”

 If they give you lemons, make lemonade.

If for some reason a neo-socialistic dictator needs a new home, there's always South America or Africa… But these days, why not think about the United States of America.

Mubarak has an estimated net worth of over $45 billion. He has executive experience, can run the government on less money than he receives and a dynamic speaking voice. In short he's exactly what we need to help several of the States regain fiscal integrity.

He believes in nepotism, so California would accept him. He isn't scared to rig elections, so he'd fit right in with Washingtonians. He refuses to answer questions about his girlfriends, so it's a natural in Oregon. Idaho is, more or less, shaped like pyramid. Utah would love to get back to their roots of polygamy. Arizona is a desert.

With his personal fortune he could take over all of the states west of Nebraska.  The border problem, no problem for Mubarak! He was able to keep the people from Gaza, in Gaza.

By introducing his own brand of multiculturalism, there could be a series of exciting new Sphinx like exhibits all across the western states. If we limited construction techniques to Moses era implements, jobs aplenty.

Coming from the Middle East, M (the friendly way to say Mubarak) likely is very jealous of the countries that have oil. Within three months, Mubarakstan could join OPEC. To make sure Kansas and Iowa were cowed, he couild also develop peaceful nuclear reactors like North Korea and Iran.

Plus being a socialist, no one would ever criticize him. Those that did, would be offered a chance to apologize… In order to keep their families from being tortured before they were killed.

You got to break some eggs, if you want to make an omelette.

Bottom line, we have a once-in-a-lifetime, multicultural dictator, looking for a job. We have an entire region of our country looking for cash. Obviously, Austrians can't do it. Maybe it's time we tried to Walk Like an Egyptian.

If you were Mubarak, which states would you buy first?

FY12 Projected Shortfall	Shortfall as Percent of FY11 Budget
Arizona	$974 million	11.5%
California*	$25.4 billion	29.3%
Colorado	$988 million	13.8%
Connecticut	$3.7 billion	20.8%
District of Columbia	DK	na
Florida	$3.6 billion	14.9%
Georgia	$1.7 billion	10.3%
Hawaii	$410 million	8.2%
Idaho	$300 million	12.6%
Illinois	$15.0 billion	44.9%
Indiana	$270 million	2.0%
Iowa	$294 million	5.6%
Kansas	$492 million	8.8%
Kentucky*	$780 million	9.1%
Louisiana	$1.7 billion	22.0%
Maine	$436 million	16.1%
Maryland	$1.6 billion	12.2%
Massachusetts	$1.8 billion	5.7%
Michigan	$1.8 billion	8.6%
Minnesota	$3.9 billion	24.5%
Mississippi	$634 million	14.1%
Missouri	$1.1 billion	14.4%
Montana	$80 million	4.3%
Nebraska	$314 million	9.2%
Nevada	$1.5 billion	45.2%
New Hampshire	DK	na
New Jersey	$10.5 billion	37.4%
New Mexico	$410 million	7.6%
New York	$9.0 billion	16.9%
North Carolina	$3.8 billion	20.0%
Ohio	$3.0 billion	11.0%
Oklahoma	$600 million	11.3%
Oregon*	$1.8 billion	25.0%
Pennsylvania	$4.5 billion	17.8%
Rhode Island	$290 million	9.9%
South Carolina	$877 million	17.4%
South Dakota	$127 million	10.9%
Tennessee	DK	Na
Texas	$13.4 billion	31.5%
Utah	$437 million	9.2%
Vermont	$150 million	13.9%
Virginia*	$2.3 billion	14.8%
Washington	$2.9 billion	18.5%
West Virginia	$155 million	4.1%
Wisconsin	$1.8 billion	12.8%
States Total	$124.7 billion	20.0%